Ten Feet Deep

So ive been talking to some of my new friends from North Carolina that i met in Atlanta. Some of us got really close, and im glad that were still talking with each other, cause they've really got me thinking. A couple of them have told me that theyre jealous of my story. They were raised in a Christian home so they grew up knowing Jesus. They say they wish they had an amazing story of how Jesus came into their lives and saved them. It is amazing looking at what God has done for me since I accepted Him into my life, but im so jealous of everyone that grew up knowing him. They have a firm faith and they know the bible. I feel like theyre way above me and that the problems im going through are stupid because they went through them so long ago that they dont even remember how to deal with what im going through. they tell me to stay strong and to turn to God with all my problems, but im so used to just running to my best friends or my parents, or whoever im close to, im not used to turning to God. Ive started to turn to Him more and more though, and then i finally start really opening up to Him, and then something happens, and ill start doubting. Ill stop reading my bible, stop praying, stop asking for help, then i fall down. Ill go for weeks at a time without reading my bible or praying, until im so far into a hole that i finally realize i cant get out on my own. So i turn to God again, i start reading my bible, and i start praying again, then life picks back up, and seems like everythings ok again.......until i stop remembering that without God, i am nothing, and the cycle starts all over again........Im ashamed to say that ive gone through this cycle many times in the past year, but im also proud to say that its happening less and less often, escpecially since the trip to Atlanta. God really opened my eyes on that trip, He took me far and away from my comfort zone many times, and it has helped me so much. He's also given me so many great new friends that i can talk to, that can/will/have been helping me through the rough times. Im so greatful for them, and for the trip, and for everything else He gives me. Thank you God!!!